"It is true, that which I have revealed to you; there is no God, no universe, no human race, no earthly life, no heaven, no hell. It is all a dream--a grotesque and foolish dream. Nothing exists but you. And you are but a thought--a vagrant thought, a useless thought, a homeless thought, wandering forlorn among the empty eternities!"
He vanished, and left me appalled; for I knew, and realized, that all he had said was true.
from "No. 44 The Mysterious Stranger"
by Mark Twain
This is exactly the realization I had come to that has pained my feeble brain for the last two years.
Here is what happened today:
Chesterules: strange thing happened in class today
Chesterules: funny, because I think about stuff like this often
Chesterules: what if something "impossible" happened in my scope of reality?
chesterules: why shouldn't something happen?
Chesterules: how would I react?
Chesterules: Would I bother telling anyone?
Chesterules: well, something did happen today
Chesterules: while I was taking my test
Chesterules: the overweight lady in the back of the classroom - the one with the prosthetic leg, she left the classroom after she finished her test -but she walked out normally - her leg was no longer prosthetic but normal. I didn't even much notice. I mean, I noticed but I didn't react. I watched her leave, to make sure it was her, and to make sure her leg was normal, even though I could plainly see that it was, I didn't need to look on.... I then went back to my test... feeling a little "uhh" about it, but that was it, nothing more. I had enough to worry about right in front of me, I couldn't worry about whether peoples' prosthetic legs are magically becoming normal over night.
Now I am very curious if it will be normal on Monday or if I was just momentarily tripping...
5 comments:
Tobias says:
She either forgot she had a prosthetic leg or you haven't been getting enough sleep.
Glitch in the matrix? Weird, keep us posted...
the last two years? you've entertained nihilistic existential wonderings at least since the conversation in 1996 or 1997 that had us dropping off the crest of Abbot Hill into a completely unknown underland. and that was REAL. i'm not quite convinced about the realness of this leg, but I'll look forward to a report on monday.
That's true. And I've thought about that: I have on a couple occasions wondered whether this "Mark Twainian" realization was really any worse than then. I can hardly remember the details of that conversation, tho, other than I felt like I was way in over my head in existential woebegone. Then was definitely way more intense than what I have been dealing with lately, but this (that is, the Mark Twain quote) seemed more crystalized as sort of a concrete inescapable truth.
Do you remember any of the details from that conversation? I'm glad you mentioned it.
Well??
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